[21][written/action]

[silversnowfall]

[first of all, there are several inconsequential doodles. This should be concerning because Nephry just doesn't doodle. Next there are several sentences that are so well crossed out they are unreadable. An ink spot where the pen rested too long on the page. A few more doodles.]

I...think I should go for a walk. I will take my journal with me just in case, however.

[and for those out and about, Nephry can be found standing on the bridge between houses 32 and 33 and Community Housing 5. It is quite the long walk, and it will continue in a short while if she's not interrupted. She will answer written or voiced messages too, of course. ...The doodling is kind of a giveaway that something is wrong here]

Comments

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

There's obviously something bothering you.

[He's going to unconsciously take a step forward. You're going to drive him mad with worry.]

[silversnowfall]

...

[she folds her hands together in an effort to keep them still. She isn't used to this. It feels like she's not in control of whatever it is and control is just so much easier. And so she clears her throat but still manages only a whisper as she turns to look at the water again, instead of at him]

Why, Peony?

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He thinks for a moment that this is about what happened with Saphir, but it seems much, much bigger than that.]

... I'm the reason why you're like this.

[silversnowfall]

I...I don't know why I'm like this. If I did...

[well, then it wouldn't be happening. She would have dealt with it already and filed it away somewhere in the back of her mind. One hand covers her mouth and she grabs that elbow with her other hand, again to keep from trembling. ...It all feels very undignified and silly]

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He barely sees Nephry in this state, as that one step becomes a brisk walk until he's close enough to wrap his arms around her. He could feel her trembling.]

[silversnowfall]

[she just stands still there for a while. She is still trembling, now with the effort of trying not to move, too. Even though she can't let herself be comforted this way...there's still comfort in it]

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He senses her relax a little, so he keeps his arms around her, tightening the embrace.]

[silversnowfall]

It isn't something that's easy to explain.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[Because of their proximity to each other, Peony can feel how clammy her skin is, amidst the trembling. He frowns, holding her at arms length.]

Nephry, ...perhaps I should take you home. You aren't feeling well.

[silversnowfall]

...Perhaps that would be best. My apologies, Your Majesty.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He takes her journal from the edge of the bridge and gently steers her in the direction of their house.]

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

[silversnowfall]

This...is unusual. You know I don't do this.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

These are unusual circumstances.

[silversnowfall]

Yes. ...I... [walking and talking, like walking and thinking, is somewhat easier to manage] I miss my home.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[At that, he resolutely looks straight ahead, though he doesn't stop walking.]

I would be surprised if you didn't.

[silversnowfall]

I'm sure everyone here...feels that way. It's childish of me to be so affected by it.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

Everyone reacts differently.

[pause]

Keterburg [and your husband] is fine, Nephry. You needn't worry too much.

[silversnowfall]

...Please understand...that my current state isn't your fault, Peony. [because in this moment they are much more like friends instead of emperor and subject] ...I wish you weren't so cruel to Saphir, but there's nothing I can do to change your mind. I suppose I...preferred the days when we were all closer.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He ignores the first part, but the use of "Peony" doesn't escape him.]

I regard Saphir as a friend. If I truly wanted to be cruel to him... [you don't want to know.]

Drifting apart was inevitable. Time, different goals...but now, it's possible to get back what we once had. If Jade and Saphir are willing.

[silversnowfall]

Jade and Saphir will never reconcile with each other.

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

And that, in turn, is why Saphir will never reconcile with me. Not that he ever liked me.

[silversnowfall]

[there's a lot more she could say. But she's very tired and concentrating on walking and being alert makes more sense. ...She finds it odd that just that one small conversation was enough to quiet her thoughts, though]

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[Peony stays silent the rest of the way. His somberness disappears when they reach the house, and he jogs to the entrance to get ahead of Nephry. He opens the door with a swift bow.]

After you.

[silversnowfall]

Thank you. [she even manages a tired smile]

[enrappigtured.livejournal.com]

[He actually walks back to Nephry's side as she makes her way to the door. Peony's not a derp, I swear.]