74. [voice/written]

[silversnowfall]

[Some say too much deep thought begets deeper problems.]

I've been thinking.

[Nephry has a piece of paper in front of her, as well as a book open to a marked page.]

Mm, I should say that reading has been making me think. Indulge me for a moment, if you will: there is a relatively small portion of our population living in this village that arrived more than three Luceti years ago. It's an easy number for me to choose, because I fall into that category as well. I don't know many of those sharing a 'cycle year' with me as personally as I might, but-

[Here she stops, taps the page of the other book, and tries a new direction. Included in her explanation is a description of the formula she mentions.]

Something I read about and didn't understand prompted a bit more research on my part. I'm interested in testing whether this...theory, I suppose, of mine happens to prove true. In another world, there is a kind of formula for determining how ready one is to accept the inevitable. I believe that, with some exceptions of course, one 'step' in this formula enacts itself in the space of one Luceti cycle year. [Then she illustrates what the heck she means by that, expanding upon a chart she found in her research.]

[A half-laugh. Actually it's quite a sad sound.] Doesn't that sound strange? And yet I remember being in complete disbelief that such things were possible, and then worrying about my friends and hating the Malnosso for what they do to us, and then wanting nothing more than to use our limited knowledge as some kind of wager for the chance to change-

And now...to a degree, I still feel all of these other things, and yet- [No. Perhaps it's best not to go into that so publicly. It's unbecoming of a governor for certain.] Well, now I'm asking the rest of you. No matter how long you have been here. Does this hold true for you?

Comments

[video]

[bossybrows]

I haven't been here that long, but I wouldn't divide it so neatly into years like that. You say you believe there'd be a few exceptions, but even if this held water, wouldn't those with a weak will go through it faster by default?

[video]

[silversnowfall]

I think that depends on what you mean by a weak will.

[video]

[bossybrows]

Doesn't it make sense to say that someone with a weak will isn't going to hold onto their emotions for as long?

Though I'd also say in some cases it's a matter of who's stupidly stubborn and who isn't.

[Voice]

[distressedude]

[Ion's spent the better part of the past few weeks so wrapped up in his own issues that it surprises him how much it surprises him to see this post. It's not too difficult to do the math... with three years behind her, that would out Nephry in her fourth year in Luceti. And going by the chart, which she already stated to fall into...]

[He doesn't quite know what to say at first, unsure whether she would want to answer a direct question. And so for now, all he can do is answer hers.]

...I wouldn't say I've experienced it in quite that order, but certainly there have been times where I've felt each of those stages to some degree. Though I suppose it's just as possible that I simply never noticed a pattern.

[Voice]

[silversnowfall]

I suppose this is what happens when I think too much. The information is from other worlds, at that, so I might not understand it correctly. You have also been here more than once.

[ voice ]

[greenjacketed]

That's...quite the theory, ma'am.

[ he's not sure he buys it. but -- then again -- psychology is hardly within his natural scope. ]

[ voice ]

[silversnowfall]

[ Nor is it within hers, really.]

Thank you, I think. At least for not passing this off as the ramblings of a woman who is losing her mind from living here for so long. [It's juuuust light enough to be a tease. Barely.]

[redjacketthief]

...you know? I can see that.

[Lupin hadn't thought about it in quite those terms, but it fit. Though the had only been there for a little over a year himself, he was starting to come to terms with how this world broke people...both by experience and by observation.

[silversnowfall]

It certainly surprised me. How long have you been here?

[Voice]

[savedtheworld]

I- I don't know, I don't really feel angry at all...

But oh - right, I haven't even been here one year yet!

[Voice]

[silversnowfall]

The vast majority of residents have been here for under two years, and they have the guidance of many people before them to fall on when necessary. It's different now - maybe this won't ever apply to you.

[Voice]

[geniustheveil]

I've been here for two years, and a year before that.

I think it's natural to arrive in a state that could be called denial. To most of our worlds and experiences, a place like this is impossible. It's difficult to believe that it exists, and that this is happening.

[She personally thinks that wears off a lot quicker than a year, though. The realities are too harsh. Anger, however.... Anger, she thinks she could be mired in for a much, much longer time. There's a simmering feeling towards the Malnosso that she knows probably goes too far, but that she can't help.]

[Voice]

[silversnowfall]

Is it so impossible? I've found that quite a few other worlds have literature that mentions the possibility of...well. Of other worlds. They come in different varieties, of course.

[voice]

[handing]

The stages of grief?

[Pepper's only been there half a year herself, but she thinks about Tony, who's got a year more time than her. She definitely has to agree that he's angry about the situation--justifiably so, of course, but still.]

That's an interesting way of looking at things. But, just to be sure, what exactly do you mean by "accepting the inevitable?"

[voice]

[silversnowfall]

That we are here for an unknown amount of time until someone outside of our sphere of influence decides we will no longer be here. That while we can control what goes on in this village, to an extent, there are things we can't decide.

[voice]

[dissonates]

...From what I've observed, the majority of people skip the first step entirely and spend most of their time angry.

[He's not sure if he wants to address the rest of it- it's a little disturbing, actually, how well it seems to fit. It's making him uncomfortable.]

[voice]

[silversnowfall]

I think I've seen something like that too. But do you think being angry can be a form of denying the truth?

[weaponry]

What are you saying? That we become complacent with living in Luceti and never wish to leave? Or that we've accepted we can't leave but still dislike Luceti. Both of them I've seen happen, a lot but making the distinction is important for how I will answer the question. [ She has A Lot of Feelings okay? ): ]

[silversnowfall]

That it's different for each person, I suppose. Most - in my opinion - know that they still want to leave and dislike being forced to live here, but come to accept that life in this village isn't so bad at the basic level.

[voice]

[eightlazylegs]

Nope. Is what deny? Is real, can't be denied. Is what anger? Anger pointless. Is what depressed? Depression pointless. Is what accept? Need always more than what have.

Bargaining okay if for goods or services. Others stupid.

[Octopus philosophy tends to be pretty straightforward.]

[voice]

[silversnowfall]

[It takes her a few moments to comprehend all of that. Doesn't seem to faze her that she's talking to a sea creature here.]

It's more complicated than the standard definitions of those words. It is a process.

[Voice]

[fierybluebird]

I think I just skipped right over the denial and bargaining phases.

And I was only ever angry at... someone who used to be here. But that was over something that happened by in our world, eh. Mah, come to think of it, I think this is more fitting to that thing that happened in my world before coming here anyway, actually.

[Voice]

[silversnowfall]

You were never incensed because a world decided, arbitrarily perhaps, to kidnap you from your home, and some of the residents of that world then also chose to make you part of their experiments and their war?

[Voice]

[drawnbythesword]

...I guess according to your chart, that'd put me somewhere between anger and bargaining.

But... Even though I just lost someone? I don't really feel angry...

[Voice]

[silversnowfall]

You lost someone? Who was it?

...I don't think I've ever seen you get angry.