silversnowfall

[69]

[It was almost a relief, to hear about so many people going home recently, even as more were due to arrive.

It was too sad to mention, knowing that one of those people was Professor Nebilim. That she wasn't really returning to anything. Just to the completion of a sad tale of a boy who thought he should be able to do everything.

And now Nephry is lonely. She has been, off and on, for a while; she feels it especially strongly today. At first she tried cleaning the kitchen but now she's sitting there, chin against her hands, staring at the table. With almost half of the house away or out of commission...things are quiet.

In the silence, she turns to her journal for a while.]

What do you believe happens...when you die?

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Well...

[Ginji's quiet for a moment as he tries to sort his thoughts on the matter into words. He's no stranger to death. Not after the massacre in Sheridan.]

I guess there isn't anyone who knows for sure, but I've always liked to think that when people die, they're set free.

[A silent moment.

This is, perhaps, the most interesting answer of them all.]

Free?

...Yes.

[He's feeling a little self conscious now. He's never really voiced his opinion out loud before - no one's ever asked him.]

No one would argue that when a person dies, their body ceases to work and eventually breaks down. And yet I don't believe that's all a person is. Just like a machine can't operate by itself. It needs a crew to work the controls, or energy to fuel it. On its own, it's just a vehicle.

I believe a person's essence lives on somewhere after they die, no longer held back by everyday limitations.

I have never quite heard it put that way before.

...Thank you, Ginji. I think that's a beautiful thing to believe.

Haha... I guess not. [He sounds a touch sheepish.] I don't even have any particular reason for believing it.

But it makes death easier to deal with, and it's not so frightening when I think about it that way. 'When I die, maybe part of me can go flying wherever it wants to. Maybe I can see and imagine things I'd never be able to otherwise.'

Besides! I know Grandfather would throw a mighty fit if there was nothing left to do afterwards.

[Shut up, Ginji.] But, you're welcome...

[Oh, Ginji. The things he's saying - part of me can go flying wherever it wants to - are going to break her heart. In a good way, though. It's a beautiful thing to think about Gelda.

Silent apologies if it takes a little while, on her end.]

I would like to believe in that, too.

[That pause doesn't go unnoticed. He's gone on too long about things again, huh? It's a bad habit he hasn't yet managed to curb - trailing off on one topic or another.] ...S-sorry about that, Nephry. But thanks.

Is everything going okay...?

Please, don't be sorry. I liked hearing that.

...And, ah...I think so. I hope so.

Oh. Well, I am but I'm also not, then, I guess. It's a tough topic no matter how you approach it...

I hope so, too. It seems like the best thing is just to live life as normally as possible, otherwise you catch yourself wondering about what's going to happen.

Ah...I wasn't exactly wondering for my own sake. I understand what you mean, though.

...I see. In that case, I think it'll be all right. After all, they've got a reliable support system and people who're thinking about them.

They? ...Do you mean someone specific?

I'm not really sure. But you said you weren't wondering for your own sake, so you must be thinking about someone else. Or maybe more than one person. ...Right?

[And to ask about death out of the blue...]

So I think that whatever it is will turn out okay. That's all I meant.

Thank you, Ginji. ...I think, in some ways, that it has.

Well then. Take care, okay?

And if there's ever anything else on your mind...

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