[When Nephry starts to speak, at first the smile on Ion's face seems to disappear, his expression unreadable. It's only after she finishes talking that he sits up, with some effort, and brings a hand up to brush his hair from his face. But though his gaze remains downcast, his lips have curled into an odd smile.]
...it's funny. I thought I already learned this lesson. But I suppose it's been so long, I'd almost forgotten.
[How long had he spent in those first few years of life not thinking about anything? He just accepted the way things were for so long, never questioning why things were the way they were. It wasn't until he met up with the others that he began to change, living up to his potential as Fon Master to bring peace to the world -- rather than simply going with the flow and existing as a replacement for his original, never considering the life he held as his own.]
[But even so, there was a difference to consider here. Back on Auldrant, though it's true he was forced to make a choice that day in Mt. Zaleho, the fact of the matter is that his death was still his choice. And he was at peace with that choice. But in Luceti, there is no choice. He's going to die. Not today, and perhaps not even within a month's time, but he knows it could happen. And it terrifies him. It was difficult to think about the future with something like that looming over his shoulders -- even the present seemed too painful.]
...but even knowing what I shouldn't do, I still don't know what I should. I'm just... so tired of being sad. Of being in pain. If I were to acknowledge everything that's happened, I'm afraid I'd suffocate in it. And I don't want to lose any more of myself to this than I already have.
[May 13, Action] THIS TOOK 2 HOURS TO TYPE ION HAS TOO MANY FEELINGS
...it's funny. I thought I already learned this lesson. But I suppose it's been so long, I'd almost forgotten.
[How long had he spent in those first few years of life not thinking about anything? He just accepted the way things were for so long, never questioning why things were the way they were. It wasn't until he met up with the others that he began to change, living up to his potential as Fon Master to bring peace to the world -- rather than simply going with the flow and existing as a replacement for his original, never considering the life he held as his own.]
[But even so, there was a difference to consider here. Back on Auldrant, though it's true he was forced to make a choice that day in Mt. Zaleho, the fact of the matter is that his death was still his choice. And he was at peace with that choice. But in Luceti, there is no choice. He's going to die. Not today, and perhaps not even within a month's time, but he knows it could happen. And it terrifies him. It was difficult to think about the future with something like that looming over his shoulders -- even the present seemed too painful.]
...but even knowing what I shouldn't do, I still don't know what I should. I'm just... so tired of being sad. Of being in pain. If I were to acknowledge everything that's happened, I'm afraid I'd suffocate in it. And I don't want to lose any more of myself to this than I already have.